Into the System-- Tooth Cleaning

I arrived for my 2:00 tooth cleaning appointment at 1:50. I was the only one in the waiting room.
I waited for 15-20 minutes and then was asked to come into the clinic. My hygienist escorted me to an examining chair and then spent 7-10 minutes studying my chart and previous x-rays.

Then she prepared her equipment, allowing me to notice her unwrapping sanitized or new cleaning instruments.
I appreciated that, as I fret about catching something in a clinic or hospital.

She efficiently went right to work cleaning my neglected teeth.
In the past, every time I got my teeth cleaned, I bled. I always felt a little tender afterwards, too. And my jaw would be very tired from keeping it open for long periods.

This time was different. The hygienist expertly took off the plaque build-up and kept the rinse under control. I didn't bleed at all, even though she was thorough.
I lost track of time, but it flew.

Never in my life has time flown while in a dentist's chair.

Due to my astonishment at the wonderful clean feeling in my mouth after an almost pleasant interlude, the hygienist explained that in public care, she only cleans teeth. Meaning, I supposed, that she can concentrate on that alone.

She said she had worked in private practice, and there, she and the rest of the staff "did the dentist's work for him."
Being in many dentists office, even tiny ones, with no staff smaller than three, I related to that.

I loved the care. It was head and shoulders above what I've found in private practice.

My next appointment is January 7, for a filling.
I'm almost looking forward to it.

Into the System #2

By Wednesday the 28th, no one had called back to make an appointment for my fillings and cleanings to be done prior to my oral surgery. I had expected as much.
I called the dental clinic, and after explaining the circumstances, was able to get an appointment on Dec 17 for cleaning. I was able to get another appointment for one of the fillings on Jan 9. I'll probably have to make another appointment for the second filling. I was also informed that my oral surgery probably wouldn't be scheduled until March or April. And my cost for the fillings would be $71 each.
Since the dentist had told me to start taking anti-biotics to prepare for my dental work, I suspected he didn't mean for me to take them for weeks or months. I asked that he clarify the instructions, since my appointments were over a month away.
The dentist tried calling me two times, but I wasn't able to answer my phone. I called back the next day, and the dentist promptly got on the phone and answered all my questions and concerns. Getting an actual doctor on the phone was a novel experience. I was impressed.
The American public pays premiums for quick work and fancy offices. I don't mind waiting for the low cost option.
Just so you know, if I was in need of immediate work, I have the option of going to their immediate care clinic and being seen that day, similar to an emergency room situation.
The system is slow and inefficient, but it's working.

My Year of Public Health #1

I am entitled to a year of health care with an extremely low co-pay.
Yesterday I had my first encounter as a patient of the public health care system.
I arrived at 8:45 for the nine AM appointment I made three weeks earlier for the dental clinic. I was scheduled for a full checkup.
I was given forms to fill out for about fifteen minutes, and after handing them in, told to wait. At 10:15, my name was called and I was taken back to a large room, partitioned off into about three or four "rooms."
I first entered a smaller room to get a full mouth x-ray. I learned the X-ray equipment had malfunctioned earlier, causing a delay in appointments until it was operational again.
I worried about how much exposure I was receiving.
After the x-ray, I was seated in an examining room where x-rays of the sides of my mouth were taken. Then I sat and waited for the dentist.
A little after eleven, a young man introduced himself to me as Dr. ?, consulted my x-rays and looked into my mouth. He discovered three cavities, and the tooth that needs extracted. Crowns are not an option at this clinic.
There was no discussion of payment. It was amazing. The doctor just stated that's what needed done, along with a cleaning, and sending me to the hospital in town for the tooth extraction.
The dental assistant took another xray, the doctor gave me a prescription for pain relief, and they pointed me to the office to pay and make an appointment.
I paid the secretary $71 for everything, and attempted to make an appointment, as the doctor and assistant told me to, for a cleaning and fillings.
But the secretary refused to make an appointment for me, telling me the instructions weren't written down on my chart. Instead, she pasted my name sticker on a piece of paper and told me "when the girl gets back, she'll call you and make the appointment."
I haven't heard from "the girl" yet. I'll call tomorrow and try to make it by phone.
I left the dental clinic around 11:45.

Into the System

I think I qualified for medical care benefits from a county health program where I live.
I'm a poverty level American, according to their standards.
This is the first time I have applied for assistance in this way. It's a reason to be grateful for my low income.
I am elated that, for the next year, if I trip over my dog and break a leg, medical bills won't wipe out my savings account and put me in deep debt.
Something as easy to get as a broken bone can do that to the average American person.
My broken ankle in 2002 cost me close to $23,000.
In just a week, you can be in massive debt.
At this time, medical bills are the biggest reason for bankruptcies in America.
If you lived in a modern country like Canada, England, and France, among others, it wouldn't be a problem.
Your government health care would set your foot, give you medicine for a few dollars, and provide therapy until you got better. Your government would provide that for you, just as it provides fire and police departments to protect and serve you, and libraries to educate and inform you, and the post office for your mail.
Government healthcare would be a service like that.

In the microcosm of socialized medicine, of which I will be partaking, it will be interesting to see how this particular system works. I will report from the frontlines, as I'll be going in for a difficult oral surgery soon.
And given that the healthcare centers at which the medical services are offered are training centers, I hope I get the smart interns.
But even with that, for the next year, a huge weight of worry has been lifted from my life.
I wish every American could experience this true lack of worry. It's truly a wonderful feeling.

NYL Comes Through

The appeals process worked and Mom is able to stay where she is and receive proper care. It was awful, stressful and worrisome to go through these last 7.5 weeks appealing the previous decision. The claims rep apologized for putting us through it, which I thought was very human of him.

Luckily, my mom had her kids to help her fight. What do others do who are all alone?
Who will fight for me when I'm 75 and targeted?

UPDATE: Mom vs NYL

New York Life is sending someone to re-assess my mother tomorrow.
Keep your fingers and toes crossed for luck, and hopefully we can productively tie up this sad chapter in my mother's long-term-care life.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I'm selling my car of eleven years.
I'm anguished at the thought of saying goodbye to it. It feels like I'm breaking up with a very good friend.
I bought it brand new, half a year after my husband died. It was the first car I'd ever chosen and bought, totally and completely, by myself.
It's still shiny, pretty, and clean. I've kept good care of it during the 108,000 miles we've shared.
It took good care of me, too. The only time it ever stopped on the road was when I ran out of gas late one night.
It was a cool car for me to have, this white-hot Mustang GT.
It was fun to drive it everywhere.
I feel silly using the word anguished when speaking of a material good. But my emotion is palpable.
Selling it is a must. I'm more than prepared to do that. But feeling such sadness has caught me by surprise.
I almost believe that car has a certain "energy." That energy ingratiated itself into my life, and I enjoyed it.
Now the time has come for me to get to know another car. And to let someone else use that good ol' Mustang GT energy to enrich their lives.
Either that, or some idiot will wrap it around a tree.
That would really break my heart.

THINGS I'VE NOTICED BY NOT HAVING INSURANCE

Drug companies advertise drugs a lot!
Open a magazine, turn on TV, surf the internet; you'll get bombarded with pharmaceutical ads.
Veramyst, Flomax and Paxil were all featured during a four minute commercial break during NBC News, on TV in the background, while I type this. That combination, and many more, are repeated all during the day.
Drug advertising has convinced a generation or more that you should self-diagnose, go to the doctor, and get what you think you need.
These drug companies are the ones we should declare war on. They are corrupting a nation, one pill at a time.
A Lunesta commercial is on now. Followed by Aleve.

Healthcare costs:
If you have insurance, your costs are mostly your co-pays, deductibles and electives. But do you know how much the procedures, tests and treatments cost in full?
I developed a blood clot in my lower leg that needed immediate treatment. I went to the hospital because I had no doctor.
The attending physician needed an ultrasound for diagnoses and I had to go to the financial office to arrange a payment plan for the $750 test. I got the test for a down payment of $200 and a payment plan.
Four hours later, with confirmation of a clot, I was admitted to a hospital from the emergency room. As soon as I landed on the bed, I was informed that the medical treatment would be a hypodermic injection three times a day.
I was capable of injecting the medicine myself. At my suggestion, the doctor agreed to write me a prescription for five days worth of the medicine, so I could treat myself at home and save the hospital charges.
I immediately discharged from the hospital, luckily with no costs, and went to my pharmacy. Before filling it, the pharmacist informed us that it would cost me $3000.
I went back to the hospital, unfulfilled.
I had to get re-admitted, which I had to do through the emergency room since the office had closed for the day. It took 8 hours to get re-admitted.
The next day, when I informed the doctor why I was back, he was as incredulous as I was at the cost of the drug.
I stayed five days in the hospital which they billed me at over $1000 a day, so someone could give me the shots I couldn't afford to buy.
After leaving the hospital, I was prescribed an anti-coagulant drug. My blood had to be tested ever two weeks for clotting agents, to make sure it was the right dose of drug.
I got three of them done at the hospital at $140 a piece before I found a doctor who would take a patient without insurance.
At my new doctor's office, the same exact blood test for the same exact thing, only cost me $30 a piece.
My new doctor also reduces his bill by 20% if you pay in full each visit. My last office visit cost me $25. He's a doctor in the best sense.

Please support universal health care.
It will stop much of the greed connected to the treatment processes.
It will give doctors and nurses the power to heal you, and take that power away from paper jockeys in corporate cubicles who's financial incentives are to deny as many claims as possible.
Let doctors do what they do best.

New York Life vs little old lady

New York Life has refused to reinstate Mom's long term care benefits. The nursing home staff submitted documents which should have cleared up any confusion whether Mom needs the care. Her doctor submitted documents outlining her chronic illnesses.

It doesn't matter to New York Life. They are willing to turn a 75 year old woman out on the street. She gave up her home and contents based on the policy, which promised a life time benefit.

She's happy in her little apartment, but New York Life is putting her out on the street in less than 30 days, presumably so her health fails enough for her to qualify, according to them, for the the benefit again.

Mom is incontinent, forgetful, unable to cook, clean, do laundry, take her medicine or drive. She has CHF, diabetes, high blood pressure and some dementia. But New York Life has ruled her unqualified for the benefits for which she's been paying premiums for many years, because she appeared happy and content to their appraiser.

We are starting formal appeals.
The stress is already showing on Mom.
Perhaps that's part of the insurance method. They'll stress out the weak people and hope a heart attack kills them. The insurance company will miss the premium paying capabilities of their clients, but never have to worry about paying them benefits.
I'm sure that makes sense to New York Life executives, don't you?

Mom's Insurance Benefits Canceled

Mom has a long-term care policy with New York Life. Her late husband and Mom both had policies and were religious about paying premiums for many years. Her husband died in 2002 without any claims.

Mom turns 75 on September 11, 2007.

Last year, Mom's health was failing fast and she was in and out of hospitals and nursing homes. Her confusion was pronounced and she was unable to remember to take medicine for serious diseases.
Her home was too much organization for her to maintain. She sometimes left the stove burner on. Her diet was mostly take-out and baked goods.
New York Life sent their representatives out to assess Mom.
Sadly, but not suprisingly, she finally qualified for benefits.

<- Mom and I, October '06, outside her house


In March of 2007, thinking she was guaranteed of benefits for a lifetime once she qualified, she gave up her rights of survivorship to her house and gave most of it's contents to relatives. She moved into a small-but-nice, two room apartment in a new assisted living/nursing facility a few miles away.
She adjusted to life in the nursing residence and got three nutritious meals a day, nursing care for her diabetes four times a day, regular doses of her heart and blood pressure medicine, housekeeping, laundry, and new friends.
For that, she pays around $800 a month. Her insurance policy provided the rest.
She's tried to regain some independence and is proud of doing that. But she is unable to maintain any regime. She cannot drive nor cook.
She had resisted most attempts at help before. Now with the assistance she receives, her health can be a priority, and she takes better care of herself.




Mom, May '07, in her new apartment




Monday, August 27, she received a letter from New York Life. Someone, but not her doctor nor the staff at the home, has decided Mom doesn't need the benefit anymore and New York Life is terminating her benefits. They still want her to pay premiums though.

She is appealing to New York Life, with help from those of us who know she deserves the benefit.
Good luck, Mom!

I am appealing to all good people out there, especially Americans, to support major healthcare reforms to prevent insurance companies from making a profit off the weak, then hanging them out to dry.
I am appealing to Americans to consider what the right thing to do is and truly consider if how much money you make should have bearing on whether you're sick or well.

Government Sponsored Health Care

Things that would be better if the US Government truly cared about US citizens and not just big business:

Healthier citizens with a longer life expectancy

Lower rate of serious diseases like diabetes, hypertension, heart disease and cancer

Quality of care not based on your bank account or lack thereof

Less litigation in our court systems for health care recovery costs. Most bankruptcies of private citizens would not exist.

More disposable income for everyone

No "benefits" or charity money going to healthcare! It could be used for other important causes.

Denial of care would be obsolete. Health care decisions would be made by your doctor, not some unkonwn entity sitting 1000 miles away in a profit-based corporate office.

Propoganda efforts opposing universal healthcare could be stopped and that energy put into something useful. It would be one less thing our government would lie about.

Senior citizens and poor people wouldn't have to choose between buying food and necessities or buying medicine.

I could continue to live in the US and not worry about surviving if I get sick.

DON'T BE A GOVERNMENT FOOL!!

SUPPORT MAJOR HEALTH CARE REFORMS FOR US CITIZENS!!!!

Once upon a time....

... I used to carry condoms in my purse when I went out.
Now, I carry lens cleaners.

Lens cleaners are more useful to me nowadays.
Sad, sad, but true.

Youth-anized

This is the cover of this month's Redbook. On the right is the original photo, on the left is the "re-touched" photo on the cover. They've "youth-anized" (my word) her!
To anyone who has succumbed to the myth that 50 year olds can look like 20 year olds, please know it's true--if you use photoshop.
Even gorgeous Faith Hill, who looks more than wonderful in real life, has to endure not looking good enough for our youth-obsessed society.
Don't kill yourself to look as thin or young as a celebrity. It's all lighting, make-up and photo manipulation.

My theory is if you feel good, you can look good!
If you're in doubt about how you feel, let someone else feel ya, and then figure it out.
:-)

(photo from TMZ.com)

Please GO SEE "SICKO!"

I cannot afford to stay healthy in America. I can't afford to get sick either.

If you are wealthy, have wonderful private health insurance, and don't care one tiny bit about your fellow Americans, then you're probably not interested in seeing the truth about America. Or at least you won't be interested until your insurance deems you denied for necessary treatment. Just wait, it will happen.

But the rest of you---GO SEE SICKO! , the documentary about the sad state of US healthcare and how we are dying because of it.

We are the only wealthy, industrialized nation in the WORLD that doesn't care for it's citizens by offering universal healthcare.

Our English, French and Canadian counterparts all live longer and healthier lives than we do.

We also have higher infant mortality rates than EL SALVADOR, for crying out loud. El Salvador has around a 10% per thousand rate of deaths among newborns. DETROIT HAS OVER 15% !!!!!!!

I am ashamed of our government. Democrats and Republicans alike should be ashamed of themselves!
TAKE BACK OUR GOVERNMENT!!
Return to a nation FOR the people, BY the people and OF the people.
As it is, we are in the hands of lobbyists.

Sopranoed, and I wasn't even a fan....

"Being Sopranoed" has spawned into further meanings.
The one that hits closest to home for me is abruptly stopping in the middle of starting something and suddenly disappearing.

It's happened to me a few times in the past couple years with relationships.
I don't remember it happening before this. Why it's happening is what mystifies me.
The hardest to understand was a bi-weekly dating, close to daily emailing, phone a few times type relationship between me and a man I'd met from Craigslist. It was one of those instant attractions. That rarely happens for real, right?

This man and I got along famously, laughing at the same things, same sense of morality, good feelings about ourselves and others; it was fun and exciting to date him. He seemed to respond as if he felt the same, except sexually.
Sexually, we got turned on but it was never a strong desire on his part to take me in all ways. I know achieving real intimacy takes time, so I was being patient. We had been dating for three months.
Gosh, we had the best dates....comedy club, in his motorhome, movies & cooking at home, chocolate martini's, pedi-cab rides, just standing in a bar drinking beer.... it was easy to feel good.

And then, after a Saturday morning chore-date where he helped me cut a tree from my yard, he hugged me (we were both covered in sawdust and un-kissable), asked me to call him on the fourth while he was driving home from another city, and left.
I called and he called and we talked two or three times on the fourth. Then I never heard from him again.

I know he's alive so that's not it.

He just stopped. Not even a good-bye.

He Sopranoed me.

Eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee

Last night was all I’d hoped for.
I saw Savoy Brown for the first time, even though I’ve listened to their music since I was a teen, maybe before!
Street Corner Talking, Raw Sienna, Lion's Share, Blue Matter, and A Step Further are in my vinyl collection and also duplicated in my CD collection along with Looking In, Getting To The Point, and Simmonds solo effort, Solitaire. I am an invested fan.
It's always been strictly about the music. None of the celebrity culture of today ever manifested itself in my appreciation of the great music I was hearing. I know nothing of Kim Simmonds other than he makes music that stirs my soul.
Tonight, not only was the music great, but there were lots of friends and good vibes in the bluesbar. And I got up close with Kim Simmonds. Wasn't even trying!
During the band's break, a small group of friends and I stood just outside the side door, enjoying the moderate-for-Texas summer night. Kim Simmonds, who basically IS Savoy Brown, walked out and casually joined us.
As we welcomed him into our little circle, Kim said something which I remarked back to, and he laughed heartily. I sure wish I could remember what it was I said. I remember thinking it was pretty clever, at the time.
I didn’t realize how excited I was to talk to Kim Simmonds until he left after a few minutes to sign autographs. Though I felt calm as he stood there, when he left I realized how excited and happy I had become. My heart was beating quickly and my voice became high and dolphin-like.
eeeeeeeee....
The only other time I remember feeling like that was after meeting Ringo for the first time. I became a squeaky fourteen year old and my feet didn't touch the ground for a few hours afterwards....
It’s kind of funny how some of my emotions about “rock gods” are so strong, even at this age! It surprises me.
I must've been wickedly emotional as a teenager. I'm pretty sure I was. Even today, my mother accuses me of being dramatic every now and then.
I prefer to think of it as passion :-)
I've met lots of other stars, musicians and celebrities, but only Ringo and now Kim Simmonds have stirred that googly feeling up. Only Ringo and Kim Simmonds made me get starry-eyed.
And a couple non-famous men who shall remain nameless that I dated... that was good, too.
Who's next?
Ain't life grand!

LIVE BY THE SWORD...

Such a fuss over celebrities!
Someone like Paris Hilton, who's life has filtered even into the evening news shows, deserves whatever publicity she gets. She's been courting attention from the masses since she was a red-carpet teenager.
It's called LIVE BY THE SWORD, DIE BY THE SWORD.
I learned that 'sword' lesson as a kid.
I guess, growing up in Podunk, in a lower-middle class family, my childhood was more priveleged in some ways than the Hilton kids.
Because, apparently, Hilton's parents forgot to mention the sword rule....

Memory Aids: aka Pics, Hearing Aids for My Mind

In April '07, I worked the Jerry Lee Lewis show. This backstage picture of the piano he used that night is a good way for me to remember the show.

This pic reminds me that a friend said there would be good bargains at Scarborough Faire this weekend and we should go. Wonder if it's too late or too wet now?

also-- Wonder why I didn't buy these guys a drink last year....?

I Can Hear The Thunder

It’s pouring outside. The rain is coming down big, fast and hard.
Within five minutes of looking out my window at the rain, I saw one jr high kid walking home from school with a huge backpack, and another walk out of his house, get on his bike and ride down the street as he does every school day.
Both boys were hooded against the rain. Both were soaking wet almost surely within a minute. The kid on foot was alternately jogging in discomfort and walking in dejection.

I tried to remember the last time I got soaked by a rainstorm. I couldn't.
I thought about stepping outside and getting soaked, for the fun of it.
But the kids didn’t look like they were having fun.
I thought of the kitchen painting I wanted to start today, and how I’d have to change clothes and shoes once I got wet.
Getting soaked might be fun, but inconvenient. Like outside sex.
Is that a sign of getting old?
Now that it’s passed, I wished I'd done it.
Regrets.

LOVE IS SQUASHING BUGS

A commercial for a TV show this week is a man telling a woman “I wanna squash bugs for you.”
I think that's a nice declaration of love.
No one’s been squashing bugs for me lately.
I maturely squash my own bugs.
Squashing my own bugs is not something that comes naturally to me.
I was the youngest child with a brother, father and mother who previously squashed bugs for me. Bathtubs, basements, closet, it didn't matter where I found them; I was saved. It was a great life.
Didn’t move from my parent’s house till I got married at twenty; then my husband squashed a few for me. But that’s when I started to learn to squash my own.
Waiting for someone to rescue me from an insect, when I regularly dealt with mice and spiders in my horse stable, seemed silly. However, it was nice to have my husband as a back-up for particularly freaky encounters.
Now, single, with my own place, it comes with the territory. I am chief bug-squasher.
Initially, big spiders were the hardest to approach. Big spiders still give me the heebie-jeebies.
But then I moved to Texas and encountered extra-large roach/waterbug monsters.
Huge, dark, winged roach-like insects that die for days on their backs, and turn into a yellow, yolk-like mess if you squash them, they freaked me out the first time one flew off the ceiling onto the wall.
I had a few false starts slapping them with a slipper, before I realized they’re like armored tanks and need a hard shoe to be smashed or a straight shot of DDT.
It took me three months to finally kill one.
Ever since I adopted a cantankerous cat, I haven’t had to kill too many big bugs. I’ll find parts of bugs I would’ve had to squash, but the cat turned them into pieces.
Other than that, I squash my own bugs.
I’ll do it for the one I love, too.

What Is Love?

I know I need it, but I'm not sure what it means to me anymore.
I’m on a quest to find the meaning of love. I don’t know how to explain what it is, but I can explain what is isn’t.
It sure isn’t the guy sitting next to me in the bar, who has chatted me up two night and leads me on as if he’s single, but has been married for thirty years. That insignificant-to-him fact is only revealed after direct, specific questioning.
He had already told me all about his business, his hobbies, his land, his cattle, his ranch. He neglected to mention the little woman.
“So do you live there by yourself?”
“No, I have a family.”
“Do you have a wife?”
“Well, uh, yea, but she leads her life, I lead mine...”
That’s not love. That’s co-dependency.
I’m still on my quest.

KINKY CREATURES

I’ve often heard accounts of ocean creatures beaching themselves or some other unsuitable adventure into human’s territories.
Animal lovers usually try to "rescue" these creatures, successfully and unsucessfully, and put them back into the environment from whence they came.
There are theories as to why whales beach themselves or dolphins or porpoises end up in seemingly inhospitable places. None of the theories have proved conclusive.
I would like to add to the theories.
Has no one ever considered that Shamu’s relatives might be desiring the life he (she?) is living? Has no one ever considered that captive whales and dolphins might somehow have communicated to the wild bunch that though their free-ranging days are over, fresh food, clean water, and loving humans are available just for doing a few tricks a day? Has no one considered that these beached whales and dolphins are trying to be captured? How much more obvious could they make it?
Shamu’s cousin is lying on the beach, there for the taking, thinking to itself "Come on, people, take me to your leader! I want some of those easy bucket-fish meals."
Meanwhile, do-gooders are shoving him back into the ocean, but Shamu’s cousin keeps beaching itself in the only way it knows to communicate to humans that it wants to be captured.
Hasn’t anyone considered that these may be creatures that crave domestication?
Just as there as some humans that have a slavery fetish, usually associated with sex, maybe these specific creatures are the fetishists of the ocean. Maybe they want to be dominated!
Whale and dolphin submissives. Think about it.
Why should humans be the only species to get kinky?

Reasons Why Texan Drivers Freak Out Over ½ Inch of Snow

Even damn yankees lose sharp snow-driving skills when only needed once every few years.

Northern road maintenance is more efficient and precise when it comes to ice and snow.

We have sky-high highway ramps, resembling roller coaster construction, built for a mild climate, that turn treacherous during ice and snow storms.

Lots of idiotic drivers, who feel to drive slowly, defensively and courteously is an affront to their character, affect those of us who drive safely, and make us slow down even more to avoid their property and life damaging influence.

The news media creates special programming to examine every aspect and worst case scenario available to them, and incites the uninitiated to think that snow on the road is the apocolypse.

His Old Skin

Though what's inside makes me want more of him, his outside is what surprises me.
Especially at my age, overlooking warts, wrinkles, and infirmities is common when making dating choices. I’ve dated some really ugly people, and I’ve dated the handsomest man around. I am not shallow and insist on handsome, but I don’t look for the ugly, either. It all depends on the person inside.
That’s why adoring his old skin surprised me.
When I first saw his picture, sent online, it took my breath away. I liked how he looked. In person, he is just as handsome.
But when people get past a certain age, the processes that keep the skin moisturized and smooth diminish, making older skin appear crepe-y and wrinkled. Young people have no idea how really beautiful they are. Having smooth skin is an under-appreciated attribute amongst youth. .
Anyway, the men I date are of that certain age, and so am I. I don’t like wrinkles and thin skin, but it’s inevitable to a certain extent, so I accept it gracefully.
Finding it attractive on a lover isn’t something to be desired. It’s like desiring bad eyesight. So I knew my feelings towards him were truly special when I even liked his old skin.
I think about him, fantasize about him; he appears in my mind exactly as he is, mature, slightly bald, and with aging skin. I find it all very, very attractive.
I’d love to be kissing that handsome, aging skin. It affects me like a six-pack stomach excites a teenager.
If only he felt the same way.
Which confounds me, because I thought chemistry was supposed to work both ways. Chemistry strong enough to make me write about old skin should be felt by both!
It's amazing to me that this feeling can be so one-sided.
But I guess it is, so I'd thought I'd commemorate loving his old skin by at least writing about it, if I can't really act on it.
It's the mature thing to do.

Judge Judy vs Donald Trump

My money's on Judy.


“I’m trying to figure out which one is the nut!” Judge Judy in court on TV 12/06

I relate to what Judge Judy said.
In everyday life, I’m often trying to figure out ‘which one is the nut.’ I include myself on some of those evaluations.
This week, I think Donald Trump is the nut. Actually, I think he’s good for a few weeks. Maybe months.
He’s one of those guys, who is charismatic in a Ross Perot kind of way, but when he’s finally gone over the edge, no one’s surprised.
I think some of those guys sniff too much of their cash.

MUSICAL HIGHLIGHT 2006 #4

RINGO STARR & THE ALL-STARRS
July 3, 2006 Nokia Theater

The first time I met Ringo Starr was in 2004. I’d been loving and listening to him and his Beatle band-mates since I was 7 years old. Meeting a Beatle, and working for him, even if only one day, made for a whole ‘nother article, which I may re-publish here someday. Suffice to say I was thrilled.
This time was almost as much fun as the first time. A new band of All-Starrs included Rod Argent, Richard Marx, Sheila E, Billy Squier, Edgar Winter, and Hamish Stuart. Though I was familiar with these names, and admire their respective talents, the only one I would have gone to see without Ringo was Edgar Winter. And then only if it was convenient.
Together, these artists put on a great show; top-notch, professional and fun. Granted, I am totally biased towards any Beatle, but when Rod Argent from The Zombies tickled “She’s Not There” out of the ivories, I really wanted to get my groove on right there! What a great song! And Sheila E always blows me away with her drumming abilities. Simply amazing, that woman is a dynamo on-stage and a sweetheart offstage. Edgar Winter teamed up with Billy Squier for a gut-bucket version of “Ramblin’ on My Mind.” Even Richard Marx overcame his pop stereotype and showed why he deserves the limelight, too.
There were moments during this night when I was fourteen years old again. Anytime music transports me that easily makes for a musical highlight. Ringo, and whomever he brings along for the ride, will always be one of mine.

Musical Highlight 2006 Top Ten #3

The New Cars and Blondie

Nokia Theater, May 2006
I THOUGHT I only knew one song by the Cars with Ric Ocasek The egoist in me takes note of all songs with “Candy” in the title. Candy-O fit that bill, and that’s how I remembered the Cars.
How wrong I was! Almost every song they played that night, I was totally familiar with.
It was the same when I watched Blondie open the show. I didn’t realize how many songs of theirs got the radio play. It was like old home week. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed this music.
The New Cars weren’t the same Cars that recorded Candy-O. Ric Ocasek chose not to tour and Todd Rundgren was in his place. Elliot Easton and Greg Hawkes were original Cars, but prized sideman Kasim Sulton was on bass.
I’d interacted with Kasim earlier in the backstage hallways. He knew my name, and how I related the Cars to Candy-O.
So, when that song came up in their onstage set, he stood right in front of me and acknowledged me during the first few bars. At the end, he flicked his pick at me, and even though I was in the front row, it disappeared and I couldn’t locate it on the floor. I was sorry because I have a small collection of picks, and this one had all those good Candy-O bass vibes all over it.
After Candy-O, I ran backstage for a minute to see if I was needed anywhere. After all, I’m on the clock. I wasn’t needed so I returned to the spot where I’d been in front of the stage.
To my amazement, as I looked down, the pick Kasem had thrown at me was at my feet! I picked it up, it has Kasim Sulton written on it, and I added it to my collection as one of my favorites.
Anyway, I was so tired that night after work because of this concert. Normally, during the performances, I have a lot of down time, because the people I’m assisting are busy onstage. So normally, I sit around with my feet up. I've been there already for twelve hours. Not tonight.
Tonight, I was in front of that stage hopping up and down doing my hippie dancing to just about every song The New Cars did. Even during “I Don’t Want to Work,” that Rundgren had made famous, I was dancing around and singing along; “I Want to Play on the Drums all Day!” So by the end of the concert, I was bushed but still had 3-4 more hours to work.
This concert was SO MUCH FUN!! I was sorry to hear that revenue-wise, the tour wasn’t considered successful. Those who missed this performance, plainly missed out. I wouldn’t have thought it, if I hadn’t been there myself. It was a thoroughly enjoyable evening of good music played by talented musicians.