LOVE IS SQUASHING BUGS

A commercial for a TV show this week is a man telling a woman “I wanna squash bugs for you.”
I think that's a nice declaration of love.
No one’s been squashing bugs for me lately.
I maturely squash my own bugs.
Squashing my own bugs is not something that comes naturally to me.
I was the youngest child with a brother, father and mother who previously squashed bugs for me. Bathtubs, basements, closet, it didn't matter where I found them; I was saved. It was a great life.
Didn’t move from my parent’s house till I got married at twenty; then my husband squashed a few for me. But that’s when I started to learn to squash my own.
Waiting for someone to rescue me from an insect, when I regularly dealt with mice and spiders in my horse stable, seemed silly. However, it was nice to have my husband as a back-up for particularly freaky encounters.
Now, single, with my own place, it comes with the territory. I am chief bug-squasher.
Initially, big spiders were the hardest to approach. Big spiders still give me the heebie-jeebies.
But then I moved to Texas and encountered extra-large roach/waterbug monsters.
Huge, dark, winged roach-like insects that die for days on their backs, and turn into a yellow, yolk-like mess if you squash them, they freaked me out the first time one flew off the ceiling onto the wall.
I had a few false starts slapping them with a slipper, before I realized they’re like armored tanks and need a hard shoe to be smashed or a straight shot of DDT.
It took me three months to finally kill one.
Ever since I adopted a cantankerous cat, I haven’t had to kill too many big bugs. I’ll find parts of bugs I would’ve had to squash, but the cat turned them into pieces.
Other than that, I squash my own bugs.
I’ll do it for the one I love, too.

What Is Love?

I know I need it, but I'm not sure what it means to me anymore.
I’m on a quest to find the meaning of love. I don’t know how to explain what it is, but I can explain what is isn’t.
It sure isn’t the guy sitting next to me in the bar, who has chatted me up two night and leads me on as if he’s single, but has been married for thirty years. That insignificant-to-him fact is only revealed after direct, specific questioning.
He had already told me all about his business, his hobbies, his land, his cattle, his ranch. He neglected to mention the little woman.
“So do you live there by yourself?”
“No, I have a family.”
“Do you have a wife?”
“Well, uh, yea, but she leads her life, I lead mine...”
That’s not love. That’s co-dependency.
I’m still on my quest.

KINKY CREATURES

I’ve often heard accounts of ocean creatures beaching themselves or some other unsuitable adventure into human’s territories.
Animal lovers usually try to "rescue" these creatures, successfully and unsucessfully, and put them back into the environment from whence they came.
There are theories as to why whales beach themselves or dolphins or porpoises end up in seemingly inhospitable places. None of the theories have proved conclusive.
I would like to add to the theories.
Has no one ever considered that Shamu’s relatives might be desiring the life he (she?) is living? Has no one ever considered that captive whales and dolphins might somehow have communicated to the wild bunch that though their free-ranging days are over, fresh food, clean water, and loving humans are available just for doing a few tricks a day? Has no one considered that these beached whales and dolphins are trying to be captured? How much more obvious could they make it?
Shamu’s cousin is lying on the beach, there for the taking, thinking to itself "Come on, people, take me to your leader! I want some of those easy bucket-fish meals."
Meanwhile, do-gooders are shoving him back into the ocean, but Shamu’s cousin keeps beaching itself in the only way it knows to communicate to humans that it wants to be captured.
Hasn’t anyone considered that these may be creatures that crave domestication?
Just as there as some humans that have a slavery fetish, usually associated with sex, maybe these specific creatures are the fetishists of the ocean. Maybe they want to be dominated!
Whale and dolphin submissives. Think about it.
Why should humans be the only species to get kinky?

Reasons Why Texan Drivers Freak Out Over ½ Inch of Snow

Even damn yankees lose sharp snow-driving skills when only needed once every few years.

Northern road maintenance is more efficient and precise when it comes to ice and snow.

We have sky-high highway ramps, resembling roller coaster construction, built for a mild climate, that turn treacherous during ice and snow storms.

Lots of idiotic drivers, who feel to drive slowly, defensively and courteously is an affront to their character, affect those of us who drive safely, and make us slow down even more to avoid their property and life damaging influence.

The news media creates special programming to examine every aspect and worst case scenario available to them, and incites the uninitiated to think that snow on the road is the apocolypse.

His Old Skin

Though what's inside makes me want more of him, his outside is what surprises me.
Especially at my age, overlooking warts, wrinkles, and infirmities is common when making dating choices. I’ve dated some really ugly people, and I’ve dated the handsomest man around. I am not shallow and insist on handsome, but I don’t look for the ugly, either. It all depends on the person inside.
That’s why adoring his old skin surprised me.
When I first saw his picture, sent online, it took my breath away. I liked how he looked. In person, he is just as handsome.
But when people get past a certain age, the processes that keep the skin moisturized and smooth diminish, making older skin appear crepe-y and wrinkled. Young people have no idea how really beautiful they are. Having smooth skin is an under-appreciated attribute amongst youth. .
Anyway, the men I date are of that certain age, and so am I. I don’t like wrinkles and thin skin, but it’s inevitable to a certain extent, so I accept it gracefully.
Finding it attractive on a lover isn’t something to be desired. It’s like desiring bad eyesight. So I knew my feelings towards him were truly special when I even liked his old skin.
I think about him, fantasize about him; he appears in my mind exactly as he is, mature, slightly bald, and with aging skin. I find it all very, very attractive.
I’d love to be kissing that handsome, aging skin. It affects me like a six-pack stomach excites a teenager.
If only he felt the same way.
Which confounds me, because I thought chemistry was supposed to work both ways. Chemistry strong enough to make me write about old skin should be felt by both!
It's amazing to me that this feeling can be so one-sided.
But I guess it is, so I'd thought I'd commemorate loving his old skin by at least writing about it, if I can't really act on it.
It's the mature thing to do.

Judge Judy vs Donald Trump

My money's on Judy.


“I’m trying to figure out which one is the nut!” Judge Judy in court on TV 12/06

I relate to what Judge Judy said.
In everyday life, I’m often trying to figure out ‘which one is the nut.’ I include myself on some of those evaluations.
This week, I think Donald Trump is the nut. Actually, I think he’s good for a few weeks. Maybe months.
He’s one of those guys, who is charismatic in a Ross Perot kind of way, but when he’s finally gone over the edge, no one’s surprised.
I think some of those guys sniff too much of their cash.

MUSICAL HIGHLIGHT 2006 #4

RINGO STARR & THE ALL-STARRS
July 3, 2006 Nokia Theater

The first time I met Ringo Starr was in 2004. I’d been loving and listening to him and his Beatle band-mates since I was 7 years old. Meeting a Beatle, and working for him, even if only one day, made for a whole ‘nother article, which I may re-publish here someday. Suffice to say I was thrilled.
This time was almost as much fun as the first time. A new band of All-Starrs included Rod Argent, Richard Marx, Sheila E, Billy Squier, Edgar Winter, and Hamish Stuart. Though I was familiar with these names, and admire their respective talents, the only one I would have gone to see without Ringo was Edgar Winter. And then only if it was convenient.
Together, these artists put on a great show; top-notch, professional and fun. Granted, I am totally biased towards any Beatle, but when Rod Argent from The Zombies tickled “She’s Not There” out of the ivories, I really wanted to get my groove on right there! What a great song! And Sheila E always blows me away with her drumming abilities. Simply amazing, that woman is a dynamo on-stage and a sweetheart offstage. Edgar Winter teamed up with Billy Squier for a gut-bucket version of “Ramblin’ on My Mind.” Even Richard Marx overcame his pop stereotype and showed why he deserves the limelight, too.
There were moments during this night when I was fourteen years old again. Anytime music transports me that easily makes for a musical highlight. Ringo, and whomever he brings along for the ride, will always be one of mine.

Musical Highlight 2006 Top Ten #3

The New Cars and Blondie

Nokia Theater, May 2006
I THOUGHT I only knew one song by the Cars with Ric Ocasek The egoist in me takes note of all songs with “Candy” in the title. Candy-O fit that bill, and that’s how I remembered the Cars.
How wrong I was! Almost every song they played that night, I was totally familiar with.
It was the same when I watched Blondie open the show. I didn’t realize how many songs of theirs got the radio play. It was like old home week. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed this music.
The New Cars weren’t the same Cars that recorded Candy-O. Ric Ocasek chose not to tour and Todd Rundgren was in his place. Elliot Easton and Greg Hawkes were original Cars, but prized sideman Kasim Sulton was on bass.
I’d interacted with Kasim earlier in the backstage hallways. He knew my name, and how I related the Cars to Candy-O.
So, when that song came up in their onstage set, he stood right in front of me and acknowledged me during the first few bars. At the end, he flicked his pick at me, and even though I was in the front row, it disappeared and I couldn’t locate it on the floor. I was sorry because I have a small collection of picks, and this one had all those good Candy-O bass vibes all over it.
After Candy-O, I ran backstage for a minute to see if I was needed anywhere. After all, I’m on the clock. I wasn’t needed so I returned to the spot where I’d been in front of the stage.
To my amazement, as I looked down, the pick Kasem had thrown at me was at my feet! I picked it up, it has Kasim Sulton written on it, and I added it to my collection as one of my favorites.
Anyway, I was so tired that night after work because of this concert. Normally, during the performances, I have a lot of down time, because the people I’m assisting are busy onstage. So normally, I sit around with my feet up. I've been there already for twelve hours. Not tonight.
Tonight, I was in front of that stage hopping up and down doing my hippie dancing to just about every song The New Cars did. Even during “I Don’t Want to Work,” that Rundgren had made famous, I was dancing around and singing along; “I Want to Play on the Drums all Day!” So by the end of the concert, I was bushed but still had 3-4 more hours to work.
This concert was SO MUCH FUN!! I was sorry to hear that revenue-wise, the tour wasn’t considered successful. Those who missed this performance, plainly missed out. I wouldn’t have thought it, if I hadn’t been there myself. It was a thoroughly enjoyable evening of good music played by talented musicians.