Jesus Wasn't Available?

A friend, who tags every email she sends with Bible verses, sent me a picture of her baby's first visit with Santa Claus.
Super cute photo, but,
I guess Jesus wasn't available?

I'm Me, and I Approve This Message

I am an expert on financial behavior because I watch HGTV .
For you, I'll share some of my knowledge.

Check out any show featuring a thirtyish, first-time couple buying their first house. These people will state they feel comfortable spending, for example, $1800 a month on a mortgage. They're pre-approved, usually creatively with two mortgages, for a little over that amount.
I don't know if that includes insurance, interest, et al. I'm assuming.

Then they rattle off a list of wants like they're filling out a shallow profile on Match.com.
They're usually wanting updated marble counter-topped kitchens, extra bedrooms, extra bathrooms, garage, and a yard.
Their wise realtor takes them off to see houses in their comfortable price range.

Of course, they can't find their wants as they imagine it, so they get discouraged.
I was said to be pouting when I was five and got discouraged the way they do. I was told I was unrealistic when I was twenty and acted that way. Call it what you will.

So the savvy realtor, working on commission, shows them a house for the full amount of their pre-approval.
Maybe even more, but they'd have to come up with some cash.
They look at it, "just to see."
The house is beautiful, new or remodeled, and a gorgeous home anyone could live in. It has all or most of desires on the list.

Used to be, you had to be rather successful, not just the average Joe, to reward yourself with a great home for your first home.
To get all that one wanted the first time out was an exception.
It was something that some of us who were starting out hoped to achieve, and deserve.
But on these shows, the first-time home buyers would buy the house that used to take time to save up enough money for a down payment.
The time that it took forced us to compromise and appreciate. It's not such a bad thing.

Instant gratification. Hard to condemn because it's fun, but it must be discouraged, when expected.
Getting constant instant gratification, and also living with integrity, just don't mix for some reason.
So this down-payment-less culture has assaulted the society of just rewards for smart work, and now we all are paying the costs of living in a fearful society with major players stopping their game.

Is this just a generational thing, complaining about progressive changes from what we're used to? Or is it truly the result of bad influences in our society?
Either way, they're taking me down with 'em.

But I could of told you we were headed for a meltdown.
Coz I watch HGTV, doncha know.

Reasoning

I have a friend, in her 50's, who doesn't believe her constant cigarette smoking is harmful to her health. She believes if she is going to get cancer, there's nothing she can do about it.
She is voting for McCain, because she says Obama isn't patriotic enough. She bases that on seeing a picture on the internet that supposedly shows Obama not holding his hand to his heart during a pledge of allegiance.
This friend also thinks smoking pot and talking on the cell phone while driving isn't anything to worry about. She says because she's done it for so long, she's really good at it and just getting better.
I repeat, she's voting for McCain.
All her children smoke cigarettes now. Around their kids, too.
Did I mention she won't vote for Obama because of an internet picture? She's voting for McCain.
I guess, with her reasoning, it makes sense.

Palin Is NOT Motherly

Ironically, Sarah Palin would've been a better pick for VP if she had said "no" when asked by McCain to be his mate.
Saying "no" would have been the wise answer. Her young, unmarried daughter is due to birth a baby this winter, in the midst of all the election chaos.
It would have been compassionate and generous of her to remain more private in this tumultuous year her 17-year-old daughter is having.
It would have been motherly.
Instead she put Bristol's name out there front and center.
If Gov. Palin threw her teenaged daughter to the blogger wolves for career achievement, what will she do to the rest of us?

It would have been wiser to say no, since her other young son, an infant with a major handicap, needs much more attention than any working woman can give.
It would have been compassionate and generous of her to wait for baby Tig to grow up a little, before adding to her workload and business travel schedule.
It would have been motherly.

Palin governs a state of only 670,000 residents, smaller than Fort Worth, TX.
She might get overlooked next time if she passes on this chance. She most likely would get overlooked, as qualified women will be coming through the ranks.
Initially I thought it was McCain who had made a desperate move by choosing Palin.
Now I think the desperate one is Palin, don't you?

Killing The Messenger

How telling that the White House AND the press choose to kill the messenger instead of investigating the message that Bush was spinning like mad to create this war against "terrorism."
McClellan must be spot-on about everything he revealed!

The reasons the administration are attacking him are obvious. Such cowards. Afraid of being truthful and forthcoming. Like children.

The reasons the media are trying to beat him down probably involves their pride which would be hurt by knowing they were mis-led along with the rest of the peons. It also involves not harming chances of future Presidential and advisor access, even though hopefully this "future" will be be short.

Why is all the news about McClellan, instead of the terror Bush has brought upon us?

Sunday Wino

Tomorrow is a holiday. I have the day off from work and decided to get some groceries for the week. So this morning, I drove to a local grocery store.
At checkout, the clerk removed the bottle of Barefoot Cabernet Sauvignon from the rest of my groceries
"We don't sell wine until noon today," she stated flatly.
It was 10:45 AM on Sunday.
Why is this law still in effect? It doesn't make me feel holy at all.
Wasn't the law enacted when conservative, white Christians made decisions for EVERYBODY else?
Oh, yea, they're still trying to do that.
So much for separation of church and state.

THE BEST DOG EVER! Still.

Yes, she really was.

She was warm, loving, smart, sensitive, and beautiful. She was one/third of my household, and had places in almost every room, in this small house, dedicated to her.

She was the one who greeted me,except once on the day before her death,
every day of every year she lived here. What devotion and love.


Throughout the years, I repeatedly told her that I loved her and thanked her for the love she brought to my life.



I brushed her almost every morning during these last years, while my morning coffee was being made.
I used a soft baby brush. Her fur had little oil in it and felt as soft as a baby's fuzz.
I could see the enjoyment in her big, cloudy brown eyes, as she savored every minute of the loving touch.


Her last day was a sunny day in the 70's, with just a few puffy clouds.
Any time her nose went near her food bowl, I gave her her favorite treats.
We sunbathed in the back yard, soaking up the warm sun, and feeling the energy of the green grass.
Inside, I played Charles Brown's blues CD's and laid on the floor with her.
I pressed my body against her back to feel her warmth.
I caressed and massaged her, and savored her presence.


Around 6:45 PM, at the vet, I again lay on the floor next to her.
As she experienced the supposedly euphoric sensation of the drugs, before the fatal dose, I kissed her over and over and expressed all the love I could.
I held onto her until her heart stopped and her life was over.

I miss her in almost every area of my life.
I pressed her soft toy against my nose and smelled her. I knew, with time, those sensations and reminders will fade. So I held onto it for a while.
I've slowly put away her things, and donated her food to the shelter this afternoon.

In my life, I've learned to appreciate the life force as it is here on earth and I feel secure that I appreciated hers.
Euthanasia was the best thing to do for her. She went out on a sunny day.
The next two days were cloudy and rainy. She hated that weather.
I take comfort in the fact there'll be no more rainy days for Brandy the Greyhound.
But it doesn't stop me from missing her.

THE BEST DOG EVER!

Brandy the Greyhound
March 1995 - May 11, 2008
euthanized due to developing bone cancer

Into the System-- Tooth Cleaning

I arrived for my 2:00 tooth cleaning appointment at 1:50. I was the only one in the waiting room.
I waited for 15-20 minutes and then was asked to come into the clinic. My hygienist escorted me to an examining chair and then spent 7-10 minutes studying my chart and previous x-rays.

Then she prepared her equipment, allowing me to notice her unwrapping sanitized or new cleaning instruments.
I appreciated that, as I fret about catching something in a clinic or hospital.

She efficiently went right to work cleaning my neglected teeth.
In the past, every time I got my teeth cleaned, I bled. I always felt a little tender afterwards, too. And my jaw would be very tired from keeping it open for long periods.

This time was different. The hygienist expertly took off the plaque build-up and kept the rinse under control. I didn't bleed at all, even though she was thorough.
I lost track of time, but it flew.

Never in my life has time flown while in a dentist's chair.

Due to my astonishment at the wonderful clean feeling in my mouth after an almost pleasant interlude, the hygienist explained that in public care, she only cleans teeth. Meaning, I supposed, that she can concentrate on that alone.

She said she had worked in private practice, and there, she and the rest of the staff "did the dentist's work for him."
Being in many dentists office, even tiny ones, with no staff smaller than three, I related to that.

I loved the care. It was head and shoulders above what I've found in private practice.

My next appointment is January 7, for a filling.
I'm almost looking forward to it.

Into the System #2

By Wednesday the 28th, no one had called back to make an appointment for my fillings and cleanings to be done prior to my oral surgery. I had expected as much.
I called the dental clinic, and after explaining the circumstances, was able to get an appointment on Dec 17 for cleaning. I was able to get another appointment for one of the fillings on Jan 9. I'll probably have to make another appointment for the second filling. I was also informed that my oral surgery probably wouldn't be scheduled until March or April. And my cost for the fillings would be $71 each.
Since the dentist had told me to start taking anti-biotics to prepare for my dental work, I suspected he didn't mean for me to take them for weeks or months. I asked that he clarify the instructions, since my appointments were over a month away.
The dentist tried calling me two times, but I wasn't able to answer my phone. I called back the next day, and the dentist promptly got on the phone and answered all my questions and concerns. Getting an actual doctor on the phone was a novel experience. I was impressed.
The American public pays premiums for quick work and fancy offices. I don't mind waiting for the low cost option.
Just so you know, if I was in need of immediate work, I have the option of going to their immediate care clinic and being seen that day, similar to an emergency room situation.
The system is slow and inefficient, but it's working.

My Year of Public Health #1

I am entitled to a year of health care with an extremely low co-pay.
Yesterday I had my first encounter as a patient of the public health care system.
I arrived at 8:45 for the nine AM appointment I made three weeks earlier for the dental clinic. I was scheduled for a full checkup.
I was given forms to fill out for about fifteen minutes, and after handing them in, told to wait. At 10:15, my name was called and I was taken back to a large room, partitioned off into about three or four "rooms."
I first entered a smaller room to get a full mouth x-ray. I learned the X-ray equipment had malfunctioned earlier, causing a delay in appointments until it was operational again.
I worried about how much exposure I was receiving.
After the x-ray, I was seated in an examining room where x-rays of the sides of my mouth were taken. Then I sat and waited for the dentist.
A little after eleven, a young man introduced himself to me as Dr. ?, consulted my x-rays and looked into my mouth. He discovered three cavities, and the tooth that needs extracted. Crowns are not an option at this clinic.
There was no discussion of payment. It was amazing. The doctor just stated that's what needed done, along with a cleaning, and sending me to the hospital in town for the tooth extraction.
The dental assistant took another xray, the doctor gave me a prescription for pain relief, and they pointed me to the office to pay and make an appointment.
I paid the secretary $71 for everything, and attempted to make an appointment, as the doctor and assistant told me to, for a cleaning and fillings.
But the secretary refused to make an appointment for me, telling me the instructions weren't written down on my chart. Instead, she pasted my name sticker on a piece of paper and told me "when the girl gets back, she'll call you and make the appointment."
I haven't heard from "the girl" yet. I'll call tomorrow and try to make it by phone.
I left the dental clinic around 11:45.

Into the System

I think I qualified for medical care benefits from a county health program where I live.
I'm a poverty level American, according to their standards.
This is the first time I have applied for assistance in this way. It's a reason to be grateful for my low income.
I am elated that, for the next year, if I trip over my dog and break a leg, medical bills won't wipe out my savings account and put me in deep debt.
Something as easy to get as a broken bone can do that to the average American person.
My broken ankle in 2002 cost me close to $23,000.
In just a week, you can be in massive debt.
At this time, medical bills are the biggest reason for bankruptcies in America.
If you lived in a modern country like Canada, England, and France, among others, it wouldn't be a problem.
Your government health care would set your foot, give you medicine for a few dollars, and provide therapy until you got better. Your government would provide that for you, just as it provides fire and police departments to protect and serve you, and libraries to educate and inform you, and the post office for your mail.
Government healthcare would be a service like that.

In the microcosm of socialized medicine, of which I will be partaking, it will be interesting to see how this particular system works. I will report from the frontlines, as I'll be going in for a difficult oral surgery soon.
And given that the healthcare centers at which the medical services are offered are training centers, I hope I get the smart interns.
But even with that, for the next year, a huge weight of worry has been lifted from my life.
I wish every American could experience this true lack of worry. It's truly a wonderful feeling.

NYL Comes Through

The appeals process worked and Mom is able to stay where she is and receive proper care. It was awful, stressful and worrisome to go through these last 7.5 weeks appealing the previous decision. The claims rep apologized for putting us through it, which I thought was very human of him.

Luckily, my mom had her kids to help her fight. What do others do who are all alone?
Who will fight for me when I'm 75 and targeted?

UPDATE: Mom vs NYL

New York Life is sending someone to re-assess my mother tomorrow.
Keep your fingers and toes crossed for luck, and hopefully we can productively tie up this sad chapter in my mother's long-term-care life.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I'm selling my car of eleven years.
I'm anguished at the thought of saying goodbye to it. It feels like I'm breaking up with a very good friend.
I bought it brand new, half a year after my husband died. It was the first car I'd ever chosen and bought, totally and completely, by myself.
It's still shiny, pretty, and clean. I've kept good care of it during the 108,000 miles we've shared.
It took good care of me, too. The only time it ever stopped on the road was when I ran out of gas late one night.
It was a cool car for me to have, this white-hot Mustang GT.
It was fun to drive it everywhere.
I feel silly using the word anguished when speaking of a material good. But my emotion is palpable.
Selling it is a must. I'm more than prepared to do that. But feeling such sadness has caught me by surprise.
I almost believe that car has a certain "energy." That energy ingratiated itself into my life, and I enjoyed it.
Now the time has come for me to get to know another car. And to let someone else use that good ol' Mustang GT energy to enrich their lives.
Either that, or some idiot will wrap it around a tree.
That would really break my heart.

THINGS I'VE NOTICED BY NOT HAVING INSURANCE

Drug companies advertise drugs a lot!
Open a magazine, turn on TV, surf the internet; you'll get bombarded with pharmaceutical ads.
Veramyst, Flomax and Paxil were all featured during a four minute commercial break during NBC News, on TV in the background, while I type this. That combination, and many more, are repeated all during the day.
Drug advertising has convinced a generation or more that you should self-diagnose, go to the doctor, and get what you think you need.
These drug companies are the ones we should declare war on. They are corrupting a nation, one pill at a time.
A Lunesta commercial is on now. Followed by Aleve.

Healthcare costs:
If you have insurance, your costs are mostly your co-pays, deductibles and electives. But do you know how much the procedures, tests and treatments cost in full?
I developed a blood clot in my lower leg that needed immediate treatment. I went to the hospital because I had no doctor.
The attending physician needed an ultrasound for diagnoses and I had to go to the financial office to arrange a payment plan for the $750 test. I got the test for a down payment of $200 and a payment plan.
Four hours later, with confirmation of a clot, I was admitted to a hospital from the emergency room. As soon as I landed on the bed, I was informed that the medical treatment would be a hypodermic injection three times a day.
I was capable of injecting the medicine myself. At my suggestion, the doctor agreed to write me a prescription for five days worth of the medicine, so I could treat myself at home and save the hospital charges.
I immediately discharged from the hospital, luckily with no costs, and went to my pharmacy. Before filling it, the pharmacist informed us that it would cost me $3000.
I went back to the hospital, unfulfilled.
I had to get re-admitted, which I had to do through the emergency room since the office had closed for the day. It took 8 hours to get re-admitted.
The next day, when I informed the doctor why I was back, he was as incredulous as I was at the cost of the drug.
I stayed five days in the hospital which they billed me at over $1000 a day, so someone could give me the shots I couldn't afford to buy.
After leaving the hospital, I was prescribed an anti-coagulant drug. My blood had to be tested ever two weeks for clotting agents, to make sure it was the right dose of drug.
I got three of them done at the hospital at $140 a piece before I found a doctor who would take a patient without insurance.
At my new doctor's office, the same exact blood test for the same exact thing, only cost me $30 a piece.
My new doctor also reduces his bill by 20% if you pay in full each visit. My last office visit cost me $25. He's a doctor in the best sense.

Please support universal health care.
It will stop much of the greed connected to the treatment processes.
It will give doctors and nurses the power to heal you, and take that power away from paper jockeys in corporate cubicles who's financial incentives are to deny as many claims as possible.
Let doctors do what they do best.

New York Life vs little old lady

New York Life has refused to reinstate Mom's long term care benefits. The nursing home staff submitted documents which should have cleared up any confusion whether Mom needs the care. Her doctor submitted documents outlining her chronic illnesses.

It doesn't matter to New York Life. They are willing to turn a 75 year old woman out on the street. She gave up her home and contents based on the policy, which promised a life time benefit.

She's happy in her little apartment, but New York Life is putting her out on the street in less than 30 days, presumably so her health fails enough for her to qualify, according to them, for the the benefit again.

Mom is incontinent, forgetful, unable to cook, clean, do laundry, take her medicine or drive. She has CHF, diabetes, high blood pressure and some dementia. But New York Life has ruled her unqualified for the benefits for which she's been paying premiums for many years, because she appeared happy and content to their appraiser.

We are starting formal appeals.
The stress is already showing on Mom.
Perhaps that's part of the insurance method. They'll stress out the weak people and hope a heart attack kills them. The insurance company will miss the premium paying capabilities of their clients, but never have to worry about paying them benefits.
I'm sure that makes sense to New York Life executives, don't you?

Mom's Insurance Benefits Canceled

Mom has a long-term care policy with New York Life. Her late husband and Mom both had policies and were religious about paying premiums for many years. Her husband died in 2002 without any claims.

Mom turns 75 on September 11, 2007.

Last year, Mom's health was failing fast and she was in and out of hospitals and nursing homes. Her confusion was pronounced and she was unable to remember to take medicine for serious diseases.
Her home was too much organization for her to maintain. She sometimes left the stove burner on. Her diet was mostly take-out and baked goods.
New York Life sent their representatives out to assess Mom.
Sadly, but not suprisingly, she finally qualified for benefits.

<- Mom and I, October '06, outside her house


In March of 2007, thinking she was guaranteed of benefits for a lifetime once she qualified, she gave up her rights of survivorship to her house and gave most of it's contents to relatives. She moved into a small-but-nice, two room apartment in a new assisted living/nursing facility a few miles away.
She adjusted to life in the nursing residence and got three nutritious meals a day, nursing care for her diabetes four times a day, regular doses of her heart and blood pressure medicine, housekeeping, laundry, and new friends.
For that, she pays around $800 a month. Her insurance policy provided the rest.
She's tried to regain some independence and is proud of doing that. But she is unable to maintain any regime. She cannot drive nor cook.
She had resisted most attempts at help before. Now with the assistance she receives, her health can be a priority, and she takes better care of herself.




Mom, May '07, in her new apartment




Monday, August 27, she received a letter from New York Life. Someone, but not her doctor nor the staff at the home, has decided Mom doesn't need the benefit anymore and New York Life is terminating her benefits. They still want her to pay premiums though.

She is appealing to New York Life, with help from those of us who know she deserves the benefit.
Good luck, Mom!

I am appealing to all good people out there, especially Americans, to support major healthcare reforms to prevent insurance companies from making a profit off the weak, then hanging them out to dry.
I am appealing to Americans to consider what the right thing to do is and truly consider if how much money you make should have bearing on whether you're sick or well.

Government Sponsored Health Care

Things that would be better if the US Government truly cared about US citizens and not just big business:

Healthier citizens with a longer life expectancy

Lower rate of serious diseases like diabetes, hypertension, heart disease and cancer

Quality of care not based on your bank account or lack thereof

Less litigation in our court systems for health care recovery costs. Most bankruptcies of private citizens would not exist.

More disposable income for everyone

No "benefits" or charity money going to healthcare! It could be used for other important causes.

Denial of care would be obsolete. Health care decisions would be made by your doctor, not some unkonwn entity sitting 1000 miles away in a profit-based corporate office.

Propoganda efforts opposing universal healthcare could be stopped and that energy put into something useful. It would be one less thing our government would lie about.

Senior citizens and poor people wouldn't have to choose between buying food and necessities or buying medicine.

I could continue to live in the US and not worry about surviving if I get sick.

DON'T BE A GOVERNMENT FOOL!!

SUPPORT MAJOR HEALTH CARE REFORMS FOR US CITIZENS!!!!

Once upon a time....

... I used to carry condoms in my purse when I went out.
Now, I carry lens cleaners.

Lens cleaners are more useful to me nowadays.
Sad, sad, but true.